Sometimes I Disappoint Me
I disappointed myself in Small Group the other night. As I thought about it, it occurred to me that I’m probably not the only one that does this.
If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I was laid off in early November. The lay off came up in conversation in Small Group. I shared some of my feelings and frustrations regarding being laid off. We had a great conversation.
After our group had left for the evening and my daughter was in bed, my wife and I were sitting on the couch talking. It occurred to me that I had shared more about my thoughts and feelings in Small group than I had one-on-one with my wife. It wasn’t because my wife isn’t a safe person to talk to. She is the safest person in my life. It wasn’t because she isn’t supportive. She’s amazingly supportive. It was because I presumed she already knew.
My wife is the closest person in the world to me. I just presumed that she knew what I was going through but I never communicated it to her. By not communicating my thoughts and feelings to her, I deprived us of emotional intimacy, because she didn’t know how I was feeling.
Now, let me say this clearly, there is nothing wrong with being open and vulnerable in you Small Group. You should be and you will never experience the community for which the group was designed if you don’t. But, the first place to look for love and support should be your husband or wife. Don’t deny them the opportunity to be the husband or wife that God designed them to be. Don’t deny them the opportunity to love and care for you. Don’t deny yourself and your spouse the opportunity to experience emotional intimacy.
What do you do to maintain emotional intimacy in your marriage?